Making Home Our Happy Place: Over-scheduling

Focus concept: Not enough unstructured time

Note: If you believe that your child suffers from an anxiety disorder, please discuss this with your pediatrician. They may recommend that you seek the assistance of a clinically trained therapist for a diagnosis and treatment plan. This person may be a psychologist, family therapist, psychiatrist or advanced practice registered nurse. This skilled clinician can make recommendations to your child’s school and help you with concerns related to your child’s anxiety at home.

Your child may exhibit anxiety at home as well as at school.  This can add stress to your family dynamic. Gaining understanding of anxiety triggers can assist your family in helping your child feel less anxious.

Identifying anxiety triggers can help you better understand your child’s reactions to certain situations.

Possible triggers may include:

-          too much unstructured time (how to spend time)

-          not enough unstructured time (schedule overload)

-          feelings of inadequacy toward a particular activity (I’m not a good enough at _______.)

-          family members arguing

-          sibling rivalry

-          a need to please others

-          lack of perfection in completing a task

-          unfamiliar guests in your home (meeting new people)

-          homework/projects

-          due dates/timelines

-          schedules that change (my friend can’t come over, we won’t be able to _______.)

-          peer issues at school or in the neighborhood (teasing, bullying, isolation …)

Let’s dig into the second concept: Not enough unstructured time

Some children want to be busy all of the time. Schedule overload can cause anxiety for your child and for you. A general rule of thumb during the years that parents need to take their child to and from an activity is a single activity at a time during the school year.  This means one sport, lesson or other activity at a time. Activities that are held at school, before or after the school day, may be an exception a day or two a week. Remember, many activities require practice in addition to being at the activity.

Choosing the activity in which your child will engage should be a family decision. Ask yourself a few questions before speaking with your child:

-          How much time will this activity take?

-          Does the activity include a long-term investment of time and money?

-          Will your child enjoy this activity or will it cause stress?

-          Are you available to be involved as needed such as being a team parent?

-          How will your child get to and from this activity?

-          Will this activity reduce needed time for homework or other school activities? If so, what is your plan?

-          How will your child’s involvement in activities impact other members of your family?