Making Home Our Happy Place: Family arguments

Focus concept: Family member discussions or arguments

Note: If you believe that your child suffers from an anxiety disorder, please discuss this with your pediatrician. They may recommend that you seek the assistance of a clinically trained therapist for a diagnosis and treatment plan. This person may be a psychologist, family therapist, psychiatrist or advanced practice registered nurse. This skilled clinician can make recommendations to your child’s school and help you with concerns related to your child’s anxiety at home.

Your child may exhibit anxiety at home as well as at school.  This can add stress to your family dynamic. Gaining understanding of anxiety triggers can assist your family in helping your child feel less anxious.

Identifying anxiety triggers can help you better understand your child’s reactions to certain situations.

Possible triggers may include:

-          too much unstructured time (how to spend time)

-          not enough unstructured time (schedule overload)

-          feelings of inadequacy toward a particular activity (I’m not a good enough at _______.)

-          family members arguing

-          sibling rivalry

-          a need to please others

-          lack of perfection in completing a task

-          unfamiliar guests in your home (meeting new people)

-          homework/projects

-          due dates/timelines

-          schedules that change (my friend can’t come over, we won’t be able to _______.)

-          peer issues at school or in the neighborhood (teasing, bullying, isolation …)

Let’s dig into the fourth concept: Family arguments

Many of us become anxious when we hear raised voices. Arguments about topics that impact your child directly can cause even greater anxiety.  It cannot be said too often that adults should make every effort not to argue in front of their children.

If you are in a situation that results in your child’s anxiety rising as a result of an adult argument; helping your child to understand the difference between discussions and arguments may help to reduce your child’s anxiety in these situations.