Making Home Our Happy Place: Too Much Unstructured Time
Focus concept: Too much unstructured time
Note: If you believe that your child suffers from an anxiety disorder, please discuss this with your pediatrician. They may recommend that you seek the assistance of a clinically trained therapist for a diagnosis and treatment plan. This person may be a psychologist, family therapist, psychiatrist or advanced practice registered nurse. This skilled clinician can make recommendations to your child’s school and help you with concerns related to your child’s anxiety at home.
Your child may exhibit anxiety at home as well as at school. This can add stress to your family dynamic. Gaining understanding of anxiety triggers can assist your family in helping your child feel less anxious.
Identifying anxiety triggers can help you better understand your child’s reactions to certain situations.
Possible triggers may include:
- too much unstructured time (how to spend time)
- not enough unstructured time (schedule overload)
- feelings of inadequacy toward a particular activity (I’m not a good enough at _______.)
- family members arguing
- sibling rivalry
- a need to please others
- lack of perfection in completing a task
- unfamiliar guests in your home (meeting new people
- homework/projects
- due dates/timelines
- schedules that change (my friend can’t come over, we won’t be able to _______.)
- peer issues at school or in the neighborhood (teasing, bullying, isolation …)
Let’s dig into the first concept: Too much unstructured time.
Some children feel the need to be busy all of the time. Redefining busy is a first step to helping your child figure out the many ways that time can be filled. Review this list with your child when his/her mood is good and choose a few of these activities or new ones you add together with the understanding that you will remind your child of possible activities to engage in during ‘down time’.
® drawing
® playing with a sibling
® reading
® bike riding
® making a craft
® writing stories
® writing letters to grandparents
® planting and tending to a garden
® caring for a pet such as playing fetch, taking a walk
® playing a game alone or with family members
® practicing an instrument
® cleaning their room and other areas such as the place toys and games are kept
® other activities you and your child decide upon
I’m not a fan of extra TV or video games unless there is an educational component such as watching a history or other learning channel. Helping your child understand the many ways that their time can be filled without a scheduled activity is an important life lesson.
Once you have narrowed the list of activities with your child, post the list at an agreed upon spot to cue your child when needed.