Making Home Our Happy Place: Sibling rivalry

Focus concept: Sibling rivalry  

Note: If you believe that your child suffers from an anxiety disorder, please discuss this with your pediatrician. They may recommend that you seek the assistance of a clinically trained therapist for a diagnosis and treatment plan. This person may be a psychologist, family therapist, psychiatrist or advanced practice registered nurse. This skilled clinician can make recommendations to your child’s school and help you with concerns related to your child’s anxiety at home.

Your child may exhibit anxiety at home as well as at school.  This can add stress to your family dynamic. Gaining understanding of anxiety triggers can assist your family in helping your child feel less anxious.

Identifying anxiety triggers can help you better understand your child’s reactions to certain situations.

Possible triggers may include:

-          too much unstructured time (how to spend time)

-          not enough unstructured time (schedule overload)

-          feelings of inadequacy toward a particular activity (I’m not a good enough at _______.)

-          family members arguing

-          sibling rivalry

-          a need to please others

-          lack of perfection in completing a task

-          unfamiliar guests in your home (meeting new people)

-          homework/projects

-          due dates/timelines

-          schedules that change (my friend can’t come over, we won’t be able to _______.)

-          peer issues at school or in the neighborhood (teasing, bullying, isolation …)

Let’s dig into the fifth concept: Sibling rivalry

Siblings will find ways of competing with one another. Given differing personalities, your anxious child may need parental support to understand that every person has talents, but they are not in the same areas. Your non-anxious child may need to learn how hurtful words about competition are for their sibling.

Parents should work with their children to establish ‘ground rules’ for social and physical interactions in the family. 

For example:

·       Are both children taking piano lessons?

o   Establish a practice schedule for using the piano or keyboard to avoid conflicts.

·       Studying different instruments?

o   Establish solo quiet times for practice for each child.